Saturday, August 23, 2008

today is yet another day

(A Train from BK to the City to link up w/ my brother who is visiting)

It needs no mentioning that without question, as I approach year two of teaching in New York City, that I have become a better teacher. However, it is only through reflection that I will truly be able to gauge my true success as an effective educator.

I always kick myself in the head for not keeping up the type of journals that I always envisioned myself keeping- with the hopes of one day turning my notes into a book- a novel, a memoir. But, that never seems to be the case. Either laziness takes over- OR I don’t even attempt to capture the emotional rollercoaster of experiences that my day-to-day brings me too. So I just think about them. I match different experiences to eachother. I imagine where they exist on the continuum of events within my life. I evaluate them. Become frustrated by them. Laugh about them. Sometimes cry. But what I don’t do (usually), is keep them. They are often forgotten memories, sometimes awoken when triggered by other events/people/situations.

I need to be better at putting everything down. Out of fairness to these vignettes- I ought to record the living and working history of myself.

I want to put more poetry in my life. I don’t know why I haven’t allowed for my creative energies to script the pain and beauty into powerful lines of poetry and prose. But I’ll get back into it, I swear ..

A major component in my life. The first thing I do whenever I walk into my apartment in Brooklyn, is turn on the lamp that sits on the mantle above the fireplace, and then go straight to itunes on my MacBook. Sometimes I’ll throw on Femi. Sometimes Miles. Usually, these days, it’s Nas. That Untitled album is THE ONE!!!!

I don’t have many. Well, I have many of not much substance. And only a few that I actually value and appreciate and love. I need to do more to show my appreciation to the few people in my life that I actually and truly have.

I’m on vacation right now, and I cannot imagine what it will be like starting off yet another year of 8:00-3:00 M-F. Well, no sense in debating it. It is the life I chose.

I’ve been going back and forth- should I grow my locks back?. Should I grow an afro? For now, I'm sportin a low Caesar with three 1982 parts on the left side of my head. Lol. I’ve seemingly phased out the Mohawk. But I can see it coming back at any given moment.

I only have one. I am blessed to be a part of mine.

Still looking for it...