Saturday, August 23, 2008

today is yet another day

(A Train from BK to the City to link up w/ my brother who is visiting)

It needs no mentioning that without question, as I approach year two of teaching in New York City, that I have become a better teacher. However, it is only through reflection that I will truly be able to gauge my true success as an effective educator.

I always kick myself in the head for not keeping up the type of journals that I always envisioned myself keeping- with the hopes of one day turning my notes into a book- a novel, a memoir. But, that never seems to be the case. Either laziness takes over- OR I don’t even attempt to capture the emotional rollercoaster of experiences that my day-to-day brings me too. So I just think about them. I match different experiences to eachother. I imagine where they exist on the continuum of events within my life. I evaluate them. Become frustrated by them. Laugh about them. Sometimes cry. But what I don’t do (usually), is keep them. They are often forgotten memories, sometimes awoken when triggered by other events/people/situations.

I need to be better at putting everything down. Out of fairness to these vignettes- I ought to record the living and working history of myself.

I want to put more poetry in my life. I don’t know why I haven’t allowed for my creative energies to script the pain and beauty into powerful lines of poetry and prose. But I’ll get back into it, I swear ..

A major component in my life. The first thing I do whenever I walk into my apartment in Brooklyn, is turn on the lamp that sits on the mantle above the fireplace, and then go straight to itunes on my MacBook. Sometimes I’ll throw on Femi. Sometimes Miles. Usually, these days, it’s Nas. That Untitled album is THE ONE!!!!

I don’t have many. Well, I have many of not much substance. And only a few that I actually value and appreciate and love. I need to do more to show my appreciation to the few people in my life that I actually and truly have.

I’m on vacation right now, and I cannot imagine what it will be like starting off yet another year of 8:00-3:00 M-F. Well, no sense in debating it. It is the life I chose.

I’ve been going back and forth- should I grow my locks back?. Should I grow an afro? For now, I'm sportin a low Caesar with three 1982 parts on the left side of my head. Lol. I’ve seemingly phased out the Mohawk. But I can see it coming back at any given moment.

I only have one. I am blessed to be a part of mine.

Still looking for it...


Miss A said...

Its good to have you back in the blogging world. Let me tell you. . . you aren't writing out of laziness. You were a FIRST YEAR TEACHER, if you had the time and energy every night to right after your long day, then you would've been Superman. I'm glad to know you're not and that you're human.

You've got me thinking now. Relationships with friends and family are so important. Sometimes we really forget to show our appreciation them--thanks for reminding me. And LOVE is another one of those challenging things! Someday it will come along and you will be ready to give and accept it.

Hugh O'Donnell said...

Nice to see you back to school!

Don't feel like the Lone Ranger with regard to sparse journals. I've procrastinated to the point where, after analyzing what I wanted to write about, I decided it wasn't all that important. Nothing like rationalizing a bad habit, right? :)

Maybe that's where a blog comes in handy -- you have some people out here to be responsible to, so you have to write something or feel a little guilt (like I am now...after two weeks of family vacation!).

Have a super year, BK!

Ms. George said...

Welcome back! I kept checking on you...
One of my fav teacher-authors is Jim Burke. He puts out a planner every year that I always use despite the free one from the district. In it he talks about 'honoring your roles' each week, whatever they are: brother, son, sister, friend, lover, teacher... it really helps to keep your mind on your life, of which teaching is a big part, yes, but not the only thing.
He also has a space each week for you to write some reflections down about what went well/didn't. Sometimes the reflections are much easier to keep up with than the journals.
Have a wonderful second year!

Authentic Educator said...

Great Post! I too teach in a major city (Chicago) and this will be my 3rd year teaching. I too have plans to journal more on both the personal and professional side. Blogging helps with that (mostly professional). I think the daily thing is unrealistic, but I will try to do a once a week thing. Good luck this year and please keep writing!